A Biblical Perspective On Emotion Regulation
In many African and Asian cultures, parenting emphasizes respect, discipline, and resilience. While these values are important, they can sometimes overshadow the need to teach children how to understand and manage their emotions. Helping children regulate their feelings is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of wisdom rooted in the Word of God. Proverbs 22:6 reminds us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” This includes teaching emotional intelligence alongside discipline.
Before embarking on this emotional regulating exercise with your kids, are your own emotions under regulation?
Do you know yourself enough to put your feelings into words without loosing your wits?
This article addresses both the parent or caregiver and the child or recipient of care.
You may even need to apply what you're about to learn here on a full grown adult.
Everyone should practice regulating their emotions. Loosing oneself in a barrage of emotions of whatever kind never ends well.
The following are some bible backed details on emotion regulation:
1. Balance Discipline with Understanding
African parenting often values strong discipline, but Ephesians 6:4 advises parents, “Do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” This means that while correction is necessary, it should not crush the child’s spirit. For example, instead of dismissing a child’s frustration with, “Stop crying,” you could say, “I see you’re upset. Let’s talk about why.” This approach preserves respect while teaching children to process their emotions constructively.
2. Teach Emotional Vocabulary in Everyday Language
Many African households communicate emotions indirectly, using proverbs or metaphors. While these are rich in wisdom, children need simple and direct words to identify their feelings. Teach them words like "angry," "happy," or "worried," in both English and their native language. For example, saying, “Are you feeling angry because you didn’t get to play?” helps them connect feelings with words, fulfilling Proverbs 18:21’s principle: “The tongue has the power of life and death.”
3. Use Biblical Stories to Illustrate Emotional Control
The Bible is full of stories that teach emotional intelligence. For instance, Joseph in Genesis demonstrated remarkable emotional resilience despite being betrayed by his brothers. Share how Joseph chose forgiveness over anger (Genesis 50:20). Teach children that managing emotions can lead to blessings, just as it did for Joseph.
4. Model Godly Emotional Responses
Children imitate what they see. As parents, demonstrating calmness in difficult situations is critical. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” When parents respond to stress with patience, children learn to handle their frustrations similarly. For example, if you’re upset with a mistake your child made, say, “I feel disappointed, but let’s find a solution together,” rather than shouting.
5. Teach Coping Strategies Anchored in Faith
Practical coping techniques, such as deep breathing or counting, can be combined with prayer. Teach your child to take a moment to pray when they feel overwhelmed. Philippians 4:6-7 encourages us to present our anxieties to God in prayer, and this habit can be instilled from a young age.
For instance, if a child is nervous about a test, guide them in saying, “Lord, help me stay calm and do my best.” Pairing spiritual practices with emotional regulation grounds children in faith while building resilience.
6. Encourage Problem-Solving with Wisdom
African parents often focus on finding practical solutions to problems, which is valuable. Pair this with teaching children how to identify the root of their emotions. Proverbs 2:6 says, “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Help children see emotions as signals for action. For example, if a child is angry because they lost a game, guide them to think about how they can improve rather than dwell on the loss.
7. Celebrate Efforts, Not Just Achievements
In many African cultures, children are praised for success but rarely for effort. Shift this by celebrating emotional growth as well. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine.” When children learn to calm down after a tantrum or use words to express feelings, affirm them. For instance, say, “I’m proud of how you stayed calm and spoke politely when you were upset.”
In short, managing emotions is a life skill every child needs, regardless of culture. Parents of whatever nationality can blend cultural values with biblical teachings to guide their children in this journey.
By creating a balance of discipline and understanding, teaching coping strategies, and modeling godly behavior, parents equip their children to face life with emotional strength and spiritual grounding. As we train our children, we honor God’s command to raise them in His ways, ensuring they are prepared for life’s challenges.
Sunday Sunday Books is releasing a book on emotional regulation that will serve parents, school teachers, Sunday school teachers and others who care for children.
Comment **Awesome** if you'd like to see a bit of what's inside.
Thanks for reading ❤️
